This is the poem I read to my wife of 16 years (it’ll be 18 years in March!) the night I came out to her as a trans woman. It might seem like an odd choice considering there’s a part about being assaulted in a middle school restroom because a bully perceived me as “acting girly.” I guess I wanted her to know that the girl was always there and that she had been afraid.

Thankfully, this woman has much more strength and courage now.

The poem is below, followed by a video of me reading it (podcast of my poem audios coming soon).

💜Miranda📚

Why did God waste those damn lasheson a boy? They would say that, the oneswho loved me. At school, they fluttered

too long in the murky mirrorwhile moths flittered against the lightin the blue bathroom. In that dull

mirror, I hypnotized myself(didn’t hear the boots behind me),floated out the tri-pane window,

to spring, when my sister’s best friendpulled me away from the slumberparty, pulled me into the coldbathroom we all shared, and drewbubbles in the tub. Her anklebutterfly disappeared. It’s fine,she said, handing me her razor,you won’t cut me. She wove her softfingers between mine and pressed.

I saw his brown mop of hair firstwhen he came in the door but late,too late to land—eyelashes fluttered.

It was too late to crawl insidemy broken chrysalis. You’d lookso pretty as a girl, he said

(just like the ones who loved me). Then,he stomped me out with his black boots.